Cheon Seong Gyeong: Episode 111
Cheon Seong Gyeong Book 4: True Person
Chapter 4: The Life Course of True Men and Women
Section 3: True Love Between Man and Woman and True Marriage, 20-31
20 You need to know that your portion of responsibility is all-important. If God had explained to Adam about his portion of responsibility, as I am doing for you right now, Adam might not have fallen. If God had constantly told him, "You have a portion of responsibility, you little brat! This is why I tell you not to eat of the fruit. It is your portion of responsibility, your own!" and shouted at him night and day about this responsibility, Adam might not have fallen. Many women want to have a husband who is tall and good-looking, not short and slightly built. So I think I should find such women the shortest husbands. That would truly allow for restoration through indemnity. Another benefit is that, when a short man weds a tall woman, his unfulfilled desire is at last satisfied. Similarly, when a skinny woman weds a heavy-set man, her unfulfilled desire will be satisfied.
21 As the four seasons of spring, summer, autumn, and winter differ from one another, so do people. There are some who are born in summer, some in autumn, some in winter, and others in spring. Those who are born in spring need to go through the summertime of life, and those who are born in winter need to adapt to the springtime of life. The directions they should take in life are different. As the earth moves on its orbit, the direction human beings take changes as well. One may follow an ascending fortune, another a descending fortune. If a person whose fortune is declining joins with a person of similar fortune, they will both perish. Events will transpire; for example, they may both be killed in an auto accident, therefore, if your fortune is declining, you will be able to survive only if you can join with a person whose fortune is naturally rising. For this reason, a man who has a bleak fortune should, if at all possible, find a woman who is ascending and who can pull him up along with her.
22 Which season matches your innate nature? Is it a season of descending, ascending, or overcoming? Do you have an agreeable or contrary disposition? Everyone's nature is different. A primary point is that you need to conform to others, especially your spouse. In doing so, a period of just a few months is not enough. You need to make this effort for at least three years. It is your destiny, and you will have to pioneer it in your life. Getting married itself is not the end of everything. Marriage is not an easy thing. You need to marry well. If you meet someone on the street and marry that person just because he or she looks nice, that marriage likely will not last long. In the eyes of young men and women who gaze at each other, everything looks green and attractive simply because it is summertime. The trees are green and they have beautiful fruit on them, and crows and magpies are flying in and out; it is all alluring. But do you know what kind of fruit it is? Pine trees, for instance, should be engrafted only with pine trees. There are different species and families of trees, with boundaries between them.
23 When there is a perfect plus, a perfect minus is bound to appear. But even if a perfect minus does not appear, the perfect plus does not cease to exist. If a perfect plus could cease to exist, we would have to conclude that even God Himself, who is in the position of the perfect plus, would have to cease to exist without a perfect minus. Based on this logic, the perfect plus creates the perfect minus. In this regard, the Bible story that God took a rib from Adam and created Eve means that Eve was created with Adam as the pattern It means that from a perfect plus a perfect minus will inevitably emerge. Thus, if Adam became a perfect plus, Eve, in the position of a perfect minus, was to be born through Adam. This is a principle of heaven and earth. If you understand the Bible story in this way, you will recognize that God is a true scientist.
24 God created man to become perfect, but not for the perfect man himself. In other words the perfect plus was not created for the perfect plus but for the perfect minus, which is the woman. Since God, the origin, is the absolute subject partner, He needs to create an absolute object partner. In other words, since God is the absolute subject partner and the perfect plus, He needs to create an object partner who is the perfect minus. The perfect plus does not cease to exist; rather He creates the perfect minus. Suppose a person has perfect character. Even if he or she is unobtrusive, conscientious people nearby will flock to that person and try to emulate him or her. All existing things—every part of the material world—will likewise gravitate to that subject partner in order to secure the realm of its object partner. They are attracted because they want to rise to a higher level, a place of higher dimension and higher value. All elements move upward in pursuit of a more complete and more ideal version of themselves on a higher level.
25 Only when it is determined that you have become a perfect subject or a perfect object can your perfect, ideal partner emerge. So the issue that needs to be settled first is how you can perfect yourself. When you reach maturity, you naturally want to find and love your spouse, but you need first to set the condition of having loved your parents even more than that person. Only when everyone can say of you, "That person is a filial son or daughter," can you form a relationship of love with God, which is a prerequisite for forming a relationship of love with your spouse. This is a heavenly rule and a principle of creation. Before you start thinking about your ideal partner, you first need to form a bond of love with your parents such that they can proclaim you publicly as a filial child. This means you need to completely unite with your parents. In addition, to practice true filial piety, you must also create unity among your siblings. Everyone in your family should be able to say that you are truly exemplary. Only when you have achieved all this can you begin a relationship with your spouse as his or her ideal partner.
26 When God looks at people, He first looks into the depths of their heart. Next He looks at their past and then their future, based on the present. Those of you who are young should understand the importance of this. You should not choose friends based on their good looks. Instead, you should choose them based on the quality of their heart, and what their future will be like in light of their way of life in the past and the present. The face is like a window on the heart. The face shows only the four features—eyes, nose, lips and ears. Therefore, whether you are homely or handsome you should conduct yourself well and have a generous heart. If God were searching the world to find one person, what kind of person would He want to find? It would be a person whose heart is as big as the world. But even if such a person existed, what if that person had eyes and hands that were as large as the world? No one would welcome him or her. Harmony comes when a person has a big heart. Rather than priding yourself on a beautiful or handsome face, you should live with a virtuous heart. This being the case, would you rather seek to marry someone with a beautiful face or with a beautiful heart? You should marry a person with a beautiful heart.
True marriage is the fulfillment of the ideal of creation
27 You marry in order to fulfill the ideal of creation, that is, the purpose of creation. Before it is Adam's purpose, the purpose of creation is God's purpose. So it follows that God should feel joy before Adam does. From this perspective, we marry for the sake of God. In other words, we wed for the sake of the Will, which is God's purpose of creation. That Will is to fulfill the ideal of creation. The ideal of creation is not achieved centered on oneself. All hearts have to become one body with God, the subject partner, so that when He moves we move, and when He does not move we do not move. The inner and outer must attain the point of oneness in heart. The purpose of creation cannot be fulfilled unless you achieve the standard of harmonizing with God in this manner. For you to become as Adam and Eve who have perfected the purpose of creation, you need to marry. You do this because of God and His Will.
28 We were born for the sake of love. True love is the foundation of the universe. That holds true for men and for women. Why do a man and a woman marry? They marry to possess God. This means we should not make the first move horizontally. Vertical love should move first. Once we meet God at a ninety-degree angle, at the place where God descends vertically along the shortest route, then everything is complete. When that happens, your body and mind will harmonize; they will never again fight.
29 Man and woman marry because of love. Why should they marry because of love? It is to meet God. But where should they go to meet Him? They should go to the center of the universe, to the vertical point where they have each grown in their parent-child relationship, and there they should put their foreheads together. It will not do if the woman is a step ahead of the man or if the man is a step ahead of the woman. It is only when they come together and hold on to each other that they will harmonize. At this point they will begin to turn, like a man and woman in love who start to dance. When a person meets his or her beloved and they begin to dance, do they stand still or turn around? As soon as one partner pulls the other, they turn around. As they turn, they leap into the air. As they whirl around faster, they can leap higher and higher.
30 In the fallen world, love is a dangerous thing. In the garden of Eden there were only Adam and Eve, one woman and one man. In this fallen world, however, there are plenty of women. Many of those women are going out of their way to seduce men, be it night or day. That being the case, how difficult it is for men to maintain their virtue! The same is true for women. After marrying, a man should not meet any other woman alone. After marrying, a couple should go everywhere together. In one sense, the Fall occurred because of poor management of their relationship. It is still that way today; husbands and wives fall because they each fail in the management of their relationship. It is also because the husband fails to convey to the wife that she belongs to him alone and that she should place him above all else. They fail to love each other with such intimacy.
31 If there are no sons or daughters in a family but just the husband and wife, the couple can achieve the standard of horizontal love between the two, but not the standard of vertical love. This is why married couples want to have children. Divine law directs them to do so. When you marry, why do you want to have children, even though giving birth to them is so difficult? It is to love your spouse and your sons and daughters, which you will gladly do even at the sacrifice of your life. But you did not know the fundamental reason for doing this. It is to be in touch with God's love, which is the core of the universe. Also, by connecting with His love, you will be able to triumph over every difficulty and prosper in every endeavor. Even though you did not make it that way, and you did not wish for it, it is the way of the principle of creation, established by the God who created you.