Cham Bumo Gyeong: Episode 50
Cham Bumo Gyeong
Book 2: The Birth of True Parents
Chapter 4: True Mother’s Childhood and Youth
Section 4: Trials and Victory, Silent Suffering
Section 4: Trials and Victory, Paragraph 8
Section 4. Trials and VictorySilent suffering
True Mother walked the path to victory by overcoming all manner of difficulties, both before and after the Holy Wedding at which she became Heaven’s Bride. She was the absolute object partner before God, the Absolute Subject Partner. She walked the model course of absolute faith, absolute love and absolute obedience. For the sake of the providence she demonstrated a strength of spirit that allowed her to break through all obstacles. She recalled, “The path I walked was a succession of ordeals, each one so difficult that it is painful to think about.”
1 Since you understand who Father is, all of you may think I am very happy. You may simply think I am perfect in every respect. You may think, “Because God created you to be like that, and since from the beginning you were born perfect, you were chosen for the position of True Mother without needing to make any effort of your own.” Your general view of me might be that since I am married to Father and am the True Mother of the entire cosmos, I must have a happy family and be enjoying my life.
This is far from the reality. Father walked the path of the cross and suffered immensely in order to stand in his position. Therefore, I in my own way also had to carry a difficult cross. No one, in fact, can understand my course and the unbearable suffering it entailed. I was not a perfect person from the outset; rather, I had to walk a path toward perfection. The standard I had to attain was very high. Sometimes I even thought it was impossible to continue on my path and reach the goal. I had to suffer through very difficult trials and maintain absolute faith in order to complete my mission and meet God’s expectations. Such was my position.
When I look back and think about my circumstances in those days and the course I walked, I cannot hold back my tears. My weeping becomes uncontrollable. To talk about my past life is very painful, because the memories of my trials and tribulations vividly reappear.
2 It is unbearable even to think about the path I walked. It was a succession of trials that caused suffering difficult to endure. Just as God tested Father after He chose him, God did the same to me, again and again. And just as Satan tested Father and Jesus, he also tested me. Women may be weak compared to men, yet still I had to pass through severe and intense trials, comparable to what the Messiah passed through.
Sometimes I felt like a small boat tossed about on the raging ocean. Yet these were also the times when God came to visit me and I felt His grace most deeply. It was when I was in the midst of suffering that God personally came to me and gave me revelations and guidance. When He did not give me direct guidance, He continually guided me through people around me who loved me and strove to protect me. So, although in such times I had to persevere through the harshest suffering and the bitterest ordeals, they were also truly the most beautiful times, completely filled with the grace of God, times when I was able to actually feel that God was with me.
Now I have finally arrived at the standard that God desires. I have finished my time in the growth period, a time filled with constant struggles as I headed for perfection. Now when I look back, all the memories of that time, so filled with suffering, are changed into joy.
Since then I am always able to converse deeply with Father. Father and I have conversations on endless topics. The understanding between us is vast, and our sharing overflows with limitless trust. Even when Father and I do not exchange words, we can deeply understand each other’s situations. The reason is because what I went through so resembles the circumstances Father faced and the path he walked. It is a mystery how my course and Father’s are so much alike.
Both Father and I deeply understand the one common goal and purpose that we share. Because of that, I endured all my suffering and fought through it with faith to finally arrive at the level of perfection. Now I feel victorious, because I have climbed up to the standard where Satan can no longer invade me. When Father and I exchange glances based on this victory that we mutually feel and share, I am able to receive unlimited comfort and peace.
3 Through many experiences with God, I came to learn a great deal about how He accomplishes the Will. In my life I truly have traveled to both heaven and hell. I came to realize that both kinds of experiences, not just one or the other, were necessary to completely mature my character and make me the person God expects me to be. If I had experienced only the joys of heaven, I would not be able to deeply appreciate the taste of life in the kingdom of heaven, and therefore I would not be grateful for it.
I had to travel even to the very bottom of hell and experience its bitter taste. Countless times I said, “I do not have the strength to continue on this difficult path any more. I absolutely cannot take another step. It’s impossible. God! Why are You telling me to go this path?” I was required to have endurance and determination. I needed to have truly unwavering faith that would never fray. These qualities, I believe, are what made me who I am today.
I am telling you that when you are on your way to the kingdom of heaven, you should not expect to experience only the aspects of heaven. In fact, you must anticipate experiencing aspects of hell. You must absolutely anticipate that you will also travel to the rock bottom of hell, to the dungeons of hell. But I can assure you that these experiences are truly the most precious, for they will guide you to feel God’s grace.
When you go through such a course, you will be able to stand more firmly and be a more mature person. Your character and your spirituality will become well-rounded. And you will be able to feel the kingdom of heaven deep down in your bone marrow. Such personal experiences will always be your pride. Truly the record of your victory and endurance in those situations will become your pride.True Mother’s victory
True Mother is a loving and caring woman. Sometimes she weeps with her motherly heart, thinking of other people’s suffering, and sometimes she enjoys the world with the pure smile of a young girl. When she has something serious to say, people find themselves drawn to listen.
True Father said that it was only through True Mother’s victory that he could complete, conclude and consummate the providence of restoration. He also emphasized that “her selflessness was truly the key to her victory.”
True Father gave an award to True Mother on June 14, 1999. The text of the Award to Congratulate the True Parents and Proclaim Their Cosmic Victory states that True Mother came with the mission to be “God’s original daughter and the True Mother of humankind.” She came to earth “according to God’s command, bearing the fruit of the providential history of restoration.” Moreover, she “fulfilled her missions to be a true daughter before heaven, a true wife to her husband, and the True Parent to all humankind as her children.” True Mother’s difficult course of restoration through indemnity is something that God alone truly understands and remembers. Yet she gained victory and thereby established the eternal tradition as a True Parent.
4 As the rightful True Mother, Mother is the mother of her family, the mother of the church and the mother of the cosmos. As such, she carries a greater responsibility than any woman in history has ever carried. Given her heavy burden, Mother has special strengths and abilities, compared to other people. First, she was born with keen spiritual intuition. She is extremely insightful and observant about people and things, and her judgment is very accurate and clear. So what comes to her mind is always true.
Second, Mother’s heart is absolutely loyal toward me, True Father. No matter what others say, she is deeply determined to do whatever I need done for the sake of the Will. This is Mother’s faith; it is also Mother’s conviction. With this kind of faith and conviction, even in the most trying times she demonstrated remarkable endurance in order to fulfill the goal. And with that she gained victory.
5 As the True Father, I am deeply grateful that Mother possesses a special disposition toward the Will. She is never selfish. She always wants to give something not only to her own children but also to you, the members of her church family. Whatever precious things she has, she finds joy in giving them to others.
Many people in the world may think that True Mother takes pleasure in possessing many clothes and jewels, but in fact this is quite untrue. Whatever good things she has she wants to give to others, to make them happy.
There were even times when she could not find suitable clothes in her closet because she had given away so many of them to others. One day when the weather had suddenly changed, I wanted her to go out with me, but she could not find appropriate clothes for the weather. Of course, she would not be able to follow my tradition unless she lived that way. But I tell you, Mother lives even more frugally than I do.
6 Mother fought for seven years in pursuit of the standard of perfection. That seven-year period was filled with all kinds of accusations, slanders, false rumors and misunderstandings that swirled around her, attacking her position in the True Family. All that she endured during that time caused her heart to bleed. Yet in fact, all of it was necessary. The issue was whether she could overcome everything and be victorious.
Mother was victorious over all of it. She had to remain silent and patiently endure. Amid those circumstances Mother just waited for those days to pass. No matter what happened, Mother kept silent and endured with faith. Persevering, she made herself an offering with indomitable faith, a faith she maintains to this day. Eventually the circumstances turned around, and instead of criticizing her, all the members bowed their heads before Mother, thinking, “She is truly the Mother of the cosmos.” In this way they came to attend her with respect.
7 Some unbelievable things happened back then. In the end, those people who had accused Mother fell away one by one. But back when those situations were occurring, I was well aware of how to deal with them because I knew the Principle. I knew how to fulfill my mission as the leader of the Unification Church in order to bring the final victory. If Mother had not known the Principle, she would have been at a loss, not knowing what to do.
Ultimately, love is the issue. Love is the center of everything, and everything is related to the problem of love. However, this issue of love can drive people to take the wrong direction and even go to extremes. I came to subjugate fallen love and rectify it. This is also to restore the hearts of human beings toward God.
Truly for Mother as well, it has been the cross of love. However, even while enduring all manner of ordeals due to the issue of love, Mother did not utter even one word of excuse. Mother understood on her own the significance of these challenges, and just endured. This is why she could be victorious in the end.
8 I can testify to Mother; I can testify that she truly brought victory through faith. She has absolute faith in me. Her mother also achieved victory; both are victorious.
After this victory was achieved on the cosmic level, I as True Father decided to give Mother the honor that was her due. Further, her mother, is also entitled to receive the respect and honor appropriate to her merit for the rest of her life. If she dies without receiving it, her merit will pass to her descendants.
The fact that I am now relating to Mother differently than in the past is in accordance with the Principle. The process of restoration she completed was that difficult, and her victory was that spectacular. So was the victory of her mother (Daemonim). You have no idea how difficult it was. These two women were chosen for the greatest honor and to be in positions of the greatest responsibility. Yet they joined the Unification Church in the lowest position and started out on their paths from the lowest place.
From this, we can learn a lesson: We must not expect to receive God’s blessings in the most glorious and exalted place; we receive them only after we overcome the lowest and most miserable situations that human beings can ever know. Only then can His blessings stay with us eternally and expand to embrace all humanity.