Pyeong Hwa Gyeong: Episode 190
Pyeong Hwa Gyeong: A Selection of True Parents’ Speeches
Book 4: The True Family Movement
Speech 14: True Families: Gateway to Heaven, pg 670-674
Chapter 3: The Original Vision for Love Between Men and Women
Section 3: Men and women absolutely need each other
Section 4: Love comes from your partner
Section 5: Men and women harmonize in love
Section 3. Men and women absolutely need each other
Love is something that you absolutely need, isn’t it? Human beings, a man and a woman, are an absolutely necessary element for love. Man needs woman and woman needs man.
How much do they need each other? They need each other more than they need Korea, more than they need the world, and even more than they need God. If there were no women, the human race would perish in less than a hundred years. No matter how much men boast of uniting the world, all would be gone within one hundred years if there were no women. So women are absolutely necessary.
When we say “human beings,” we refer to man and woman. When we consider a particular man, we see that he has to be with a woman, and when we consider a woman, she has to be with a man. Man is not born through his own desire, nor is woman, who is absolutely needed by the man, born through her own desire. After we are born, we discover that we are either a man or a woman.
When you were born as a man, were you aware that there are women in the world? If a man were born and found out that there were only men, would he not feel bad? And if a woman were born and found out that there were only women, she would feel bad, wouldn’t she? So when a woman is born, is she born with or without the knowledge that there are men? Although I was born without this knowledge, the one who gave birth to me knew it. The reason a person is born as a woman is that there is a man who needs her.
Likewise, the reason I am born as a man like this is that there is a woman who needs me. We all are born like this, with God’s knowledge.
Man absolutely needs woman. Man absolutely needs God. However, before he needs God he needs a partner called woman. Human history has been miserable because men have been unable to understand correctly their absolute need for women. Conversely, women have not understood that they absolutely need men.
Tasting true love requires a realm of the ideal, and for this a man needs a woman and a woman needs a man. You must know that an absolute man and an absolute woman pursuing true love are joined through their efforts of becoming one in heart. When such a man and woman are joined as one, God dwells in their midst.
God does not like to see a couple separating who have been joined by true love, so the love of an absolute man and woman is eternal.
God is omniscient and omnipotent, yet even the Absolute Being has no meaning when He is alone. Similarly, no matter how handsome and healthy a man may be, these things have no meaning if he is without a woman. A man living in fascination with his own good looks and health leads an ugly existence and has no value. The problem is that there are many men in the world who have sunk into such narcissism, and this is one reason why history has moved toward tragedy. It is important to understand that God’s providence has been working to change and improve this world, which is immersed in such self-centeredness.
Section 4. Love comes from your partner
By himself or herself, a person cannot realize love. From where does love come? Love does not originate from me; it comes from my spouse. Since love comes from my spouse, I must bow my head and serve her. This is where the heavenly principle of living for the sake of others originates. We must practice the philosophy that teaches that when something highly noble comes to me, I must honor and serve it in order to receive it.
Human beings have love. However, when we are alone, love cannot manifest itself. Love does not appear when a man is alone; it appears only when a woman is there as his object partner in love. Only when an object partner in love appears does love finally spring forth.
We say that parental love is good and conjugal love is good, because genuine love is not something self-centered. Love does not start from me; it starts from my partner. It is important to know this. Love comes from your husband or wife, from your sons and daughters, and from your brothers and sisters. Love does not start from you. It starts from your spouse. Therefore, who is the owner of love? Your spouse is the owner of love.
From where did we say love comes? It comes from your partner. If your partner is homely or ugly, love recedes; if your partner is pretty and lovely, love advances more quickly. The way love functions is determined according to your partner’s attributes: her speech, her beauty, her scent and her taste.
Where is the basis of love? I am not the basis of love. The word “love” must be used in reciprocal terms. No matter how handsome a man may be, he cannot love if he has no partner to love.
The basis of love is not one’s own self. “Love comes from me” are the words that Satan has been exploiting. I am not the basis of love. You may think that you are the basis of love, yet there will be no future unless you totally change such a mindset and correct it.
Until now, wives have put themselves at the center and husbands have put themselves at the center, both wanting to be served. That is why their relationships often come to ruin.
Again, conjugal love does not originate from you, but from your spouse. Therefore, if you want to possess your spouse’s love, you need to sacrifice yourself for the sake of love.
Love always demands sacrifice. Also, love requires that we overcome. In fact, this is the only place in all heaven and earth where we can find the power to overcome Satan’s world. God is holding tightly onto love; true love can be found only in accordance with the principle that places God at the center. Religious virtues including compassion and benevolence are also rooted in love. These words do not pertain to individuals alone; they are used only in the context of a mutual relationship.
Section 5. Men and women harmonize in love
Man symbolizes heaven and woman symbolizes earth. Therefore, the two must unite in harmony. Men and women are different. Men’s muscles are rugged and women’s are smooth. Men have beards while women do not. Their voices are also different. These apparently contrasting features of men and women actually allow them to fit together well. Harmony is created between them. When we look at the physical structure of human beings, their left and right sides are complementary and form a correlative pair. These two halves are bound tightly together.
Ladies and gentlemen, do you like things that are only high or only low? You like things that create harmony. Judging from the line formed by the horizon, fish live below this line, and mammals, birds and other creatures live above it. Women menstruate once a month, like tidal variations based on the moon. Breathing involves inhaling and exhaling. A man and a woman need to establish a line of balance and create harmony.
The reason people like to go to Disneyland, with its rides that go up and down, is that this is similar to the nature of the universe. Which do you think will be more pleasing, men socializing only with other men, or men and women socializing together? Men and women together are better, because this reflects the harmony of the universe. We need to live in step with the beat of the universe, which promotes harmony through the balance of yin and yang.
When a husband and wife create a harmony of love, they initiate circular movement. When they become one body in love and bear the fruits of love, God comes down, and they go up and they meet in the middle.
God becomes the center of this sphere, and spherical movement begins. From this central point, connections can be established in any direction. The center of the sphere is the place where the harmony of love is realized. It is the place where life emerges and moves, and it is the starting point of human equality and shared philosophy. This is so because the power of love is there. Thus the force that embraces all interactions of the universe is love.
For human beings love is eternal. It is always one, never two. Once a man and a woman are joined in love, they are to live together for a lifetime and then for eternity, even after death. They are two bodies, but by revolving in oneness with each other, they become as one body.
When husband and wife become one, they revolve with God to form a four-position foundation of love. This is the ideal world of love. Only true love dwells there; false love cannot invade. When a man and a woman are blessed in marriage by God and achieve perfect oneness, God is able to come to them at any time.
When they form a four-position foundation of love, they will come to love each other’s heart through each other’s body, and when they come to love the heart their body will follow.